Today my mother called me about her mother and about how she is not doing well. She told me to not "take any chances" and to come home before I lose any chance at all. When I got home today at 5:11 pm I walked in to see almost my entire family, extended and all, gathered together.
Today I had musical rehearsal and drumline. I skipped early morning today because I didn't feel like getting up and I suspected that the consequences could not be too great. For once I was right! Anyway, I got to school and when I walked into seminary and a tall man with short curly hair dressed in a suit and tie (he looked like Napoleon Dynamite) greeted me with a warm "good morning." He then began to make small talk with me, asking me about how my day was so far, and what I expected of it. And then for the rest of class all I could think about is how one person doing such a small thing could change your entire day. It really got me thinking about how judgmental we as humans may or may not be and how understanding one another might cure the world or just one of its poisons.
I don't think I can explain to you just how much I want to wiggle out of the ever bounding grasp of our earth. I want to go places. Not on earth, I could care less. I just want to go up. And up. And up.
I sit a lot. I sit and do nothing and think about aaalll the bad things. Today I sat with my grandmother as she lied in her deathbed begging for peace. As I looked at my grandmother, struggling to breathe and fighting to surrender her final words unto this dying world, I realized that something beyond what we can comprehend as human beings will someday come to us. And we will fly. When I tried to talk to her, she would start saying my name, as if I was gone and I would have to reassure her that I was there. My mother was on the other side of the bed crying and I was trying my best not to. The last words I heard her say tonight were "I want to die."
We might not make it home tonight.
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